The Narrative — How Our Minds Shape What We See

Whether you realize it or not, your mind is constantly narrating — shaping how you see the world through a lens known as perspective.

In our family of six — me, my husband, and our four children — we often play a game called “Would You Rather?” It’s a two-option multiple-choice question that reveals a lot more than you’d think. As we explain our choices, we uncover the personal narratives that shape how each of us views life.

Take this example:

Would you rather be the best player on a losing team, or the worst player on a winning team?

Here’s how my family answered:

My three sons (in unison): “I’d rather be the worst player on the winning team. At least I’m on a winning team, and I have teammates who challenge me to grow.”

Me: I agreed with them — something about growing while being part of something successful resonated with me.

My husband: “I’d rather be the best player on the losing team. I could help my teammates improve and lead them toward growth.”

And of course, on another day, someone might say, “Choice C — I don’t like team sports.”

This simple question shows how our internal stories guide our decisions. For me and my sons, the narrative values growth and identity through winning. For my husband, it’s about leadership and serving others.

The stories we tell ourselves — our narratives — are powerful. They impact how we show up, how we relate, and how we lead.

Becoming aware of your narrative helps you better understand others… and most importantly, yourself.